Overdue Post :)

Hello! It's been a while since I've been here! The daily posting thing just isn't working out for me right now. We took a family vacation for the last TWO WEEKS! of July and since returning life has been busy, busy, busy! The kids are back at school and work is crazy. Some day I will return to a regular blogging schedule, I promise.

Our youngest just began her last year of preschool. I can now calculate how much I'll be spending on childcare for the rest of my life! (I hope...I guess stuff could happen.) $7,128 max. My oldest is now 10, and with two kids in daycare at times etc., I estimate I've easily spent $75,000 on daycare. I'm actually not complaining, it was worth it. For many reasons, least of which was my mental health, I needed to work. With one notable exception (with whom we entrusted our child for about 5 weeks), I have loved the daycare providers my kids have had, and they have enriched their lives. I wouldn't complain if there were some better system and childcare were free. But it wasn't, so when I think back on the amount I've spent I relax a little and I think oh, so that's why I haven't managed to build up a true savings. That's why my credit cards don't have a zero balance. Soon, I will be able to make real financial progress.

That said, I've been doing some gig work in my downtime to help bring in just a little more money. I will need to write about mTurk some time, but lately I've been obsessed with transcribing for Transcribe Me! (TM! for short). I've been getting a lot of typing practice while learning about interesting, random topics. It's flexible. Some days I can't even think about checking on available jobs, and other days I can do job after job. They have built a community there that is so kind and understanding.

And if they treat freelancers so well, I can't begin to imagine what it's like to be their client. While I'm transcribing, I think about how useful the services would have been to me when I worked in a program evaluation office. I had so much qualitative research to do, and I spent hours and hours transcribing interview data--hours that our office billed to clients at a very high rate. If only they knew about Transcribe Me!, they could have saved so much money, I could have saved so much time, and they could have had their reports back much sooner than they did. Live and learn, I guess. I know in the future there's no way I would ever consider taking on those kinds of projects as a researcher, not when an accurate, affordable service like TM! exists.

Because I believe in the work I've done with Transcribe Me!, I recommend this service to anyone. So...visit us at www.transcribeme.com !

Family Friday: Wife of Christopher

This isn't going to be easy to write. How do I sum up my love for my amazing husband?
I think I'll start by showing some pictures of people he sort of looks like to varying degrees.

Chris "Mr. Big" Noth

Australian Actor Anthony LaPaglia

Bad Boy Charlie Sheen

Hilarious Comedian Eugene Mirman

And here he really is, the handsome culmination of the best characteristics of all the above:

I looked through my own recent pictures and they're all blurry action shots, so here's the picture from his work.

We met at probably the worst possible moment in time. I was out at a bar with a friend celebrating signing my first real job contract. I was going to be teaching at a college in Illinois in a few months! The bar was in Kansas, where I was attending grad school and where C was pretty well established with his house, new business, and full-time job. He was out with friends after helping one of them move. He still can't believe I found him attractive when he'd just been moving a friend all day. But he smiled at me from a neighboring booth, and I smiled back, and we waved back and forth, and he invited me over to his table and bought me a drink. It was pretty sickeningly sweet, now that I think about it.

So we clicked, but had some decisions to make. I'd been through relationships with at least some long-distance component, and those never worked out well (obviously). So we spent a lot of time together that summer and decided that we'd make it work, distance be damned. And we did! We talked every day and had some long weekend visits and on New Year's Day (7 month anniversary) at around 3 in the morning he proposed. Having completed one semester of full-time teaching I was already pretty certain that it wasn't something I wanted to do for the rest of my life, so I finished out the second semester to fulfill my contract and then moved back to Kansas. Then we got married a couple weeks later! 

He always wanted kids, lots of kids. I wasn't so sure about them. But we adopted our dog Sprocket together, before I went to teach, and he let me get two kittens as soon as we got back from our honeymoon. And this may sound ridiculous, but when one of the pets misbehaved, seeing the way he handled the situation helped me to relax about the whole thing. He was able to laugh things off, and that made me laugh things off, and I realized if I could laugh off whatever mini-catastrophe had occurred, I may just be able to handle a kid. 

But first, he insisted I finish my dissertation. Always looking out for me, that one. He knew better than I did that once we had kids it would be so all-encompassing that I may never return to that, and I would always regret getting so close to finishing my degree. So he supported me and put up with me as I was learning to navigate a full-time job and spending my weekends holed up in the home office he cleared out just for me. But I got that done, and then the kids came. 

He's the most awesome dad. Just like I predicted based on the pets, he can take any bad situation and turn it around with his sense of humor. And he actually started collecting Box Tops before the kids were ever in school, can you believe that? He is so loving and involved in the kids' lives, and it's so fun to observe.

He's a practical dreamer. He is always thinking about ways we can have a better life and he has so many great ideas. He's completed multiple NaNoWriMo's! But he also stays firmly grounded in our present reality, so we never have to worry about paying the bills or putting food on the table. And a major bonus--he handles all the major paperwork because he knows paperwork makes me cry. And the technology set-up at home. I have no idea how people manage these days without having a professional tech person at home.

He's not perfect, and I'm not perfect, and we occasionally butt heads. But even our fights are pretty funny sometimes. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm so glad I met this guy at the worst possible time. 

Thoughtful Thursday: Procrastination

At Weight Watchers this week, the leader spent some time reviewing the previous week's topic of clutter, and referred to clutter as the result of delayed decisions. And as I thought about the fact that I'd been storing a pair of tanning goggles for 12 years with no plans to ever go tanning again in my life, that certainly struck a chord!

That also sounded to me a lot like procrastination. You can talk about clutter as being physical or mental, but what seems to clutter my mind are the various tasks of life that I know I need to do but don't want to. I generally try to tackle the things that are bugging me so they're no longer on my plate, and I always feel fantastic after I do them. There are some things I take as just a fact of life--I always do laundry on weekends, for example, because if I don't then there will not be clean clothes to wear. There's a clear consequence of not doing laundry.

But there are many other things that just sit there, waiting to be done and because there's no real punishment for not getting them done, they can sit there, waiting, clogging up my brain. Sometimes I can just make a list of things that need to be done, and that frees up my mind a bit. But sometimes I start the list and I think, "Why am I making the list when I can just do the thing?" When I catch myself writing down these sorts of tasks, I can be pretty confident I'm just procrastinating.

Here are some recent things I've done that I'm glad are done:

1. I went swimming with the family at a nearby pool

I've been putting this off for so long. I like to swim, but I hate the preparation, the worry while we're at the pool about something happening and needing to stay vigilant the whole time, seeing co-workers while I'm in my swimsuit (this happens a lot in a small town), and then the rush when we get home to change, shower, etc.

But we went a couple weeks ago for the first time this summer and it was fun! It took a bit of time to get our stuff together but now that we've done that, we've got a system in place where we can pretty much just grab our stuff and go. In fact, we went back again this past weekend and I was looking forward to it.

2. Haircut

I hate getting my hair cut because I just always feel so awkward and I don't know what to say to the hair stylist and I hate sitting there with my glasses off and not being able to focus on anything. I hate making the decisions and communicating what I want my hair to look like, or feeling awkward showing a picture of a celeb with the hairstyle I want. It seems like most people like the experience of being pampered, but not me.

My recent strategy to get out of getting a haircut was to try to grow it out. It's summer, so why not try out something new? But my limp hair just hung there and I couldn't deny I needed to do something. So I went to Great Clips on Tuesday night (the height of luxury, I know! But when you procrastinate about something and decide you just want to take care of it, it's best if you can just walk in) and got a couple inches chopped off and I love it! I need to remember that it may feel a little awkward for 15 minutes but then it's over. And now my hair is a lot easier to do in the morning and my neck is cooler, which is no small thing when the temperatures frequently reach over 100 degrees.

3. Email to my new boss

The boss I've had for the past eight years is retiring as of this afternoon, and the new boss sent a lengthy email on Monday to all of us in the department with some questions she wanted us to answer. I was actually eager to start on this task, but not to complete it. I started jotting down some quick thoughts but then put that list aside. I thought, if she doesn't start until Friday why bother replying now? And then there's a three day weekend, and she didn't put any sort of deadline, so I could just wait.

But it just kept gnawing at me on Monday night, and I knew I needed to put some closure on this particular request. So Tuesday morning I got to work. I spent hours writing my response and editing it. I knew going into this that it would take a long time. It's always hard to sit and reflect, right? That's why I was trying to find ways to procrastinate. But now that it's done, I don't regret spending that amount of time on it.

I figured this was probably the one opportunity I'll have to introduce myself, describe my role and communication preferences, and honestly assess some problems we've had in the department. I did more professional reflection that day than I have in a long time. So I finished editing my response and sent it off, and felt so relieved. And then I was so much more productive for the rest of the day! Because as it turns out, when I put off doing some big thing I don't want to do, I'm not actually motivated to do other necessary tasks. I waste time instead.

In general, I've learned that this is one of the biggest benefits of adopting the "Just do it!" mindset. When I have the big thing looming in the back of my mind, I don't really want to accomplish anything at all. But once I decide to tackle the big thing I feel so accomplished that all the little things just fall into place, and then I can sleep soundly at night. And I love my sleep.

Wellness Wednesday: Back into a Routine

At my weigh-in last night I was down 0.8 pounds! Yay me! That brings my grand total to 15.8 pounds. Honestly, I would love to be down more. There was a woman who joined the same night I did and she is down 36 pounds now. But I am trying hard not to feel bad, because I still know I'm making the best progress I can right now.

I am going to be proud of the fact that I FINALLY returned to the gym on Monday night. The longer I'd been away, the easier it was to find excuses not to go. And I didn't sleep well on Sunday and had a bad headache because of that on Monday. So I went back and forth so many times: You can go to the gym on Wednesday instead, it will be fine...No, go tonight, you'll feel good! And maybe you'll stop having so many sleep problems...But this headache...But just go!  

So I told myself I could just go, I could stop after a half hour, and I could take it at the world's easiest pace. And I did just that. Usually once I make those promises to myself I end up going harder and longer (heh), but that didn't happen on Monday. I did my half hour and I was out of there. But I was nice and sweaty and relaxed! I finally got the big, scary return out of the way.

I also decided to try to give up counting Points on Monday, and go with a more flexible WW-inspired approach as well. I know what's been working--basically cutting out snacks between meals (even the healthy ones) and carby side dishes. Getting to the gym more times than not. Making good choices more often than not. And I've kept a cheat sheet of the meals I've had while losing weight as a quick reference.

Now the hard part: Finding out if I will still make progress without tracking every bite. I've gone through this before and usually I need to go back to counting eventually. But just as a life practice, I don't know that I can continue. Tracking puts me on the all-or-nothing diet mindset. I am a lot better than I used to be about that but there is still that tendency. I've read so much on intuitive eating to know what I need to do to have a healthy balance.

So that will be my plan for July: To make the healthy choices, to assess my hunger frequently and honestly, and to move as much as possible. We're planning two weeks of travel at the end of July and I think it's good I'll have a couple weeks of practice under my belt before then. I think if this works out I can actually maintain or even lose on vacation!

Transformation Tuesday: Bathroom Decluttering

After last week's Weight Watcher's meeting, which demanded a commitment to declutter something, I decided to pursue my little, personal bathroom. Occasionally someone else will use the toilet in this bathroom when the main bathroom is occupied, but otherwise it's all mine. Therefore, I had no one else to blame for the cluttered state it was in. It's very tiny, but I still managed to get a lot of stuff in there over time, thanks to a plastic drawer set and a medicine cabinet we put in.

I had actually already decluttered under the sink recently, thanks to a leaky pipe, so that was done. But I needed to get serious about the set of drawers, which I believe I've owned for nearly 15 years and has not ever been cleared out.

First I tackled the top, which functions as a small counter, and the top drawer. I kept my makeup on top, and a small jewelry box, and whatever random toiletries I was using at the time. Here you get a peek at the top drawer as well.

Before: "Counter" and top drawer

My makeup case (yes, it's a Caboodles) was very disorganized and had makeup in it that is probably considered a biohazard at this point. I tossed most of the makeup that was on the bottom of that case, which you can't see in the picture. The black thing there is a Curl Secret, which is new and not cheap and kept falling off its precarious perch. That is part of what motivated me to undertake this project. I'd be pissed if I broke it because it fell. 

The top drawer was very full too. I kept all kinds of stuff in there, so it was part junk drawer but also part storage for products I didn't need yet. Also, books, random printouts for quick bathroom reading, etc. 

And here is the result! Here's the top. It may not look less cluttered but nothing is stacked on anything else anymore. Plus that book is pretty to look at, and funny!

 After: Top of counter 

(You can see by the Nyquil that I was still getting over my recent awful sinus infection.)

After: Top drawer! 

Now the top drawer is mostly just storage for products I will need and a few books. Don't ask about the ointment please. You can't handle it. It's nice to be able to see at a glance if I need to purchase more toothpaste or whatever. 

Next, I cleared out the second and third drawers. In the second drawer I kept all my electronic hair gadgets. I know I had at least one straightening iron that didn't even work anymore, so part of the decluttering process was plugging in every last gadget to see if it would turn on. Once I identified the offender I got rid of it once and for all. 

Here is my second drawer before and after. It used to contain all the electronic hair gadgets...

Second Drawer Before

But now it only contains a hair dryer and the Curl Secret. I use one of those each day, so it's nice to be able to grab what I need quickly and to know they're safe.

Second Drawer After

And then there was my big, secret shame: The bottom drawer. I found so many headbands in there, all my failed past attempts to do something interesting with my hair. There was old jewelry from ex-boyfriends, and those little butterfly clips that people wore all over their heads 15 years ago. There were goggles you wore when you use a tanning bed. I used a tanning bed approximately three times before my wedding 12 years ago, so I don't know why I was still holding onto them. It was just a big, jumbled mess of stuff I didn't know what to do with. 

 

Third Drawer Before

So I cleared that drawer out, tossing probably half of the stuff in there and giving away most of the rest to my daughters, who will look adorable even in a dated fashion accessory. I don't really have an after picture of the 3rd drawer, but it basically holds the rest of the electronic gadgets that used to be in the 2nd drawer.

Then I tackled the medicine cabinet. This was mostly just reorganizing, taking things out of boxes so they would take up less space, etc. Well worth it!

 Medicine Cabinet Before 

Medicine Cabinet After

So since this is a tiny space, it's hard to see a major difference, but I can tell you the bathroom is so much more functional now! It's hard enough to wake up and get ready for work each day. Now it's just a little bit easier.

Money Monday: Stretching Products

I am trying to become a wise consumer and not purchase as many one-time use products. For example, when I need to wipe up the kitchen counters, I know that I should get out a clean dishrag and add a little soap and water and wipe away. And despite the fact that the rag drawer is 100% reachable from where I keep the disinfecting wipes next to the sink, I am way more likely to reach for a wipe. I'm not a monster, I sometimes do opt for the rag, but usually not.

My bad.

I also use too many paper towels, but I now only purchase the make-a-size kind and use a half of a regular sheet to wipe my mouth when I'm eating spaghetti. 

But I do try my best to stretch these products. If I pull out a wipe to clean up a small spill, I will continue to use the entire surface area of the wipe until it is all used up. So if there are a few drops of milk I want to clean off the counter, I would wipe those up and then possibly wipe up the kitchen sink until it's shiny. 

Here is another I stretch my disinfecting wipes: If you use these products with any regularity, you may notice that there tends to be quite a bit of fluid remaining after the wipes are used up. So I don't let that go to waste. I will usually rip off five half-sheet paper towels, ball them up individually, drop them into the container, and shake. The fluid saturates the paper towels and you have bonus wipes! It's so simple and that buys me about another week of use.  

Of course, you could just pour that fluid onto a cloth rag and wipe away, but if you do you are a better person than me. 

Family Friday: Mother of Leah

One thing is certain, my Family Friday posts are the easiest to plan and to write. Today I'm talking about my oldest child, Leah.

10 months old and the first to wear the duck costume for Halloween

Leah was born after a long night of labor. What made it long is that she had some trouble on her way out, and was in distress. But she finally made it and I was excited to see that she had hair! I had been bald forever as a baby, and so had my husband. Little did I know that it was just temporary hair and that it would soon fall out and she would actually follow in her parents' footsteps hair-wise.

As Leah was my first child (and I was the baby of my family), I had no idea what to expect. My husband actually had to teach me how to change diapers. But I soon learned what people were talking about when they said you will love your children like nothing else. I remember just sitting there, holding her and crying because I was so overwhelmed with my love for her. It was pretty intoxicating.

I think she was objectively adorable. Sure, she had no hair and was often mistaken for a boy even while wearing pink from head to toe. But she had the sweetest, biggest grin and as it turns out, people love grinning babies. We would go out to eat and the whole restaurant seemed to stare at her (in a nice way). We would have people over and she owned the room. It was as if the only reason they came was to look at her, in her mind. And that became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I was so amazed by her and my love for her that when she was only 5 months old I knew I needed another one, and that's how Patrick came to be.

First Day of First Grade

Leah was a sweet young girl. She loved singing, and dancing, and princesses. Oh boy, the princesses. She had to wear pink all the time. She wanted long hair, poor thing. She was all girl. 

She also loved to read and write and draw. She loved school in general. She was always so empathetic. When she started kindergarten and I was crying about her starting that huge new chapter, she cried with me. She was a social butterfly, which was truly baffling to an introvert like me. As she enters 5th grade this fall and her roster of former teachers grows, they continue to tell me that she finds them at recess to give them hugs. 

Nine Years Old, 4th Grade Picture

I did write those last paragraphs in the past tense, and much of that is still true. At her core she is still sweet and empathetic, and she still enjoys clothes and fashion. But she hates princesses and pink and seems to have made peace with the fact that her hair will never be full and voluminous and long. She is very smart and uses big words and loves to write and create, and read. She still loves hanging out with her friends, but she has a very sweet, shy quality as well.

*But*...she is 10 now and has always been precocious, which means that she is basically in full-on teen mode. I've learned enough to know that I can say that and still have no clue what sort of trouble I'm in for when she actually is a teen. But wow, the drama. She can be so extremely sweet to her siblings one minute, and then scream at them the next. She has mastered the practice of unnecessarily slamming dishes when we make her do them, and stomping off to her room to slam the door.

Programming a NAO Robot at School

But that's okay. It's good to know that she's fired up, right? I don't know what the next few years will bring, but it will be fun to watch this one turn into an adult.

Often timid, but eager to try new things like jumping on a velcro wall.

I'm watching the Gilmore Girls series for the millionth time, but this time I'm bringing Leah along on the journey. I see so much of Rory in Leah, and lord knows I need a road map for navigating the teen years with my daughter, this amazingly complex creature.