In the spirit of a new year and Transformation Tuesday, let's move on and declare this blog to be active again! It's not like a resolution or anything to start blogging again, not exactly. More like I was home for two weeks over the holidays, hoping for some amazing inspiration. Still waiting.
Now I'm hoping to find some direction in my life. I don't know where I left off but I can tell you I feel different, and strangely, more optimistic. My job is going well, although it's not exactly fulfilling. I was filling some time transcribing, but that's not calling to me at the moment. I still think I'd like to get a library degree or something, but money.
Some updates: One of our dogs got killed--hit by a car--in October. Sweet Honey. It was so sudden and awful. The ass who did it didn't stop. It was right in front of our house, right when everyone was getting home from work. As awful as that was, I can at least be grateful it wasn't a kid. Very often on our residential street, cars drive too fast and there are no sidewalks, and lots of kids out trying to be social.
Our other dog, Sprocket, who was supposed to live only six months if we put her on chemo, is still going strong. She was diagnosed in April and it's now January and no, we didn't put her through chemo.
The kids are all doing great. I'm excited the youngest will be out of preschool this year!
The husband is good too, although a little more broken than he was. He fell down some stairs at the end of November and broke not one, but two arms.
I quit Weight Watchers, hopefully for the final time. I had a mini-crisis come up one day just as I was heading to my meeting and noticed the relief I felt as I realized I had to deal with the crisis instead of going to the meeting. So that was that! But the thing is--I'm doing better without it! I'm just counting calories and setting fitness goals for myself. With the holidays just being over, I'm not going to pretend I'm in great shape but I ended the year probably 15 pounds lower than I started it. Some of that was from when I started WW again at the end of January, but mostly, like all my other WW attempts, I lost a bunch, gained some back, and then just maintained. I've taken off real weight since quitting WW and I plan to continue now. I lost weight by counting calories all by myself once upon a time, so I know it's possible.
In related news, I finally had a real physical. It had been three years since the last time. Switching my antidepressants back over to Paxil from Zoloft. I swore the last time I went off of Paxil that I would never go back on it. It's not that the Paxil experience was bad, it was just terrible withdrawal and I figured if it was that bad to get off it, it wasn't good to be on it. Well, I ended up back on Zoloft because I was planning to get pregnant again (with Emma) and that's safer for pregnancy, and I was under the impression it was just as effective since they're both SSRIs. I guess that was wrong, because I am an anxious anxious person, and Paxil is the way to go for anxiety. It's been 5+ years back on Zoloft so I forgot what it was like to experience the calming effects of Paxil. So now I'm just waiting for that to take full effect and planning to never go off of it again for as long as I live.
Not that the physical was really bad but there are some numbers I would like to improve. I'm no spring chicken anymore. So that will provide some motivation to keep losing weight and such. And I vow to never wait more than a year between physicals again. See, when you have social anxiety and you cope by avoiding stressful social interactions, the anxiety only gets worse when you can no longer put it off again. Lesson learned.
I was doing a pretty good job of saving money until about when Honey was killed and then Trump was elected and holiday deals just kept on coming. So now I'm dialing it back and trying to get back to a non-consumer perspective. From now on I really MUST make the decision to shop local first and only make online purchases if necessary. I'm hoping to transform my checking account this year!
And we're still trying to find meaningful ways to spend our time as a family. Sunday we went on a hike at a local park and it was really nice! It was a sunset walk, and it was in the 40's so it seemed a little too cool at first but it ended up being ideal once we got moving. I definitely want to do more like that with the family.
Mostly, I am just going to have a goal of continuous improvement this year. Try things out, pursue the ones that work, ditch the ones that don't, and just keep trying. And I'm going to be less hard on myself for messing up.
Some updates: One of our dogs got killed--hit by a car--in October. Sweet Honey. It was so sudden and awful. The ass who did it didn't stop. It was right in front of our house, right when everyone was getting home from work. As awful as that was, I can at least be grateful it wasn't a kid. Very often on our residential street, cars drive too fast and there are no sidewalks, and lots of kids out trying to be social.
Our other dog, Sprocket, who was supposed to live only six months if we put her on chemo, is still going strong. She was diagnosed in April and it's now January and no, we didn't put her through chemo.
The kids are all doing great. I'm excited the youngest will be out of preschool this year!
The husband is good too, although a little more broken than he was. He fell down some stairs at the end of November and broke not one, but two arms.
I quit Weight Watchers, hopefully for the final time. I had a mini-crisis come up one day just as I was heading to my meeting and noticed the relief I felt as I realized I had to deal with the crisis instead of going to the meeting. So that was that! But the thing is--I'm doing better without it! I'm just counting calories and setting fitness goals for myself. With the holidays just being over, I'm not going to pretend I'm in great shape but I ended the year probably 15 pounds lower than I started it. Some of that was from when I started WW again at the end of January, but mostly, like all my other WW attempts, I lost a bunch, gained some back, and then just maintained. I've taken off real weight since quitting WW and I plan to continue now. I lost weight by counting calories all by myself once upon a time, so I know it's possible.
In related news, I finally had a real physical. It had been three years since the last time. Switching my antidepressants back over to Paxil from Zoloft. I swore the last time I went off of Paxil that I would never go back on it. It's not that the Paxil experience was bad, it was just terrible withdrawal and I figured if it was that bad to get off it, it wasn't good to be on it. Well, I ended up back on Zoloft because I was planning to get pregnant again (with Emma) and that's safer for pregnancy, and I was under the impression it was just as effective since they're both SSRIs. I guess that was wrong, because I am an anxious anxious person, and Paxil is the way to go for anxiety. It's been 5+ years back on Zoloft so I forgot what it was like to experience the calming effects of Paxil. So now I'm just waiting for that to take full effect and planning to never go off of it again for as long as I live.
Not that the physical was really bad but there are some numbers I would like to improve. I'm no spring chicken anymore. So that will provide some motivation to keep losing weight and such. And I vow to never wait more than a year between physicals again. See, when you have social anxiety and you cope by avoiding stressful social interactions, the anxiety only gets worse when you can no longer put it off again. Lesson learned.
I was doing a pretty good job of saving money until about when Honey was killed and then Trump was elected and holiday deals just kept on coming. So now I'm dialing it back and trying to get back to a non-consumer perspective. From now on I really MUST make the decision to shop local first and only make online purchases if necessary. I'm hoping to transform my checking account this year!
And we're still trying to find meaningful ways to spend our time as a family. Sunday we went on a hike at a local park and it was really nice! It was a sunset walk, and it was in the 40's so it seemed a little too cool at first but it ended up being ideal once we got moving. I definitely want to do more like that with the family.
Mostly, I am just going to have a goal of continuous improvement this year. Try things out, pursue the ones that work, ditch the ones that don't, and just keep trying. And I'm going to be less hard on myself for messing up.
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